Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Reprieve - Renewal & The Road Ahead

What next? Where to? What to do now?

Questions are looming in my head theses days! Three weeks back stateside and I'm already feeling stir crazy.

Lately I've been dwelling on what I'm supposed to be doing with myself. I forget that my life isn't a checklist it's an open itinerary.

I have a wicked ego that is fighting violently to maintain the life that is safe and familiar to it and the harder I struggle the more it resists. I know it is useless to convince someone of something that doesn't want to listen so why do I try so hard? I'm in charge of my life right? Not my insecurities! Nevertheless, I can't see anything beyond the road that lies directly ahead and sometimes that's just blank and frightening to me.

Since my thoughts aren't serving me productively, starting today I'm canceling all appointments with worry, resetting my brain and muting my ego.

The road ahead is waiting...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Asia Summary 2012: Intense - Educational - An Experience Of A Lifetime

It is the sixth of August 2012. I now have less than 48 hours left before I board a flight headed back to the U.S.. I've been thinking about what to say to people when they inquire about or when I am grilled for my opinion of this & that related to my trip. I imagine the questions: "How was it?" coming in first place and "How did you like it?" being a close second. Not that my opinion even matters it's just rote questioning whenever you've been somewhere.

What I came up with is that it's far more perplexing than whether I liked anything about the people, places and things I have encountered over the past 90 days. During my time here I simply got used to things as they are and accepted them. Lucky for me I've had practice so I am better equipped to do that these days. To try and put it simply, I'd say this journey for me was an extraordinary clash of: like it, love it, hate it as well as come to embrace it. Also, I am sure to reflect, learn and continue to grow from this exploit for much time to come. 

On that note, I'm ready for the next adventure to be much more frivolous!